To blog, or not to blog
I love writing, now whether I have the knack for or it or not, is pretty much debatable; and proof for my debatable love is that you’re reading this now, cos I pretty much vowed that I won’t blog again, it stopped being fun, but never say never!… I re-read my previous posts and comments and will list what I felt:
1- Stupid for not proof-reading
2- A bit of a hypocrite
3- Different
Its either I’m a hypocrite (just a bit :P), or people have different convictions over time. I also sucked-up a lot!!! I hated myself… when I read some of my comments to some of the bloggers all I kept thinking, ughhhhhh bloody hell, can you suck-up any more! I was trying to be nice… and ended up all over the place! That’s my problem, I try to be nice to avoid hurting people’s feelings, and end up doing something I’m not content with. What does that say about me!?! I was not genuine. I just kept over-doing it sometimes, saying things that doesnt completely represent me as a person. I started this blog to be me, but ended up being a bit of everyone I despise. I'm not saying that I did not enjoy writing the blogs, or that the words written are ones that I don't approve of or feel like I need to detach myself from, no, I enjoyed every word and all the time spent typing and conjuring them :) and it was me all the way, I just can't help but think that romana today isn't the same romana that typed those words to the extent that I'm calling her a hypocrite! I think i have split personality disorder or something!!! :P
I don’t even know why I’m blogging again, a part of me does not want anyone to find out that I’m blogging again I just want this space for myself, but at the same time, I want my words to be read, laughed at, commented on… I just don’t want those compliments that we Libyans are so good at. I don’t want anyone to comment out of courtesy… I don’t want anyone saying they liked something so they wouldn’t offend me, really, no one owes anyone anything, so can we be ourselves in this so called anonymous space of ours?
Now why I felt different? I can’t really put my finger on it… but I didn’t feel it was me all the way… I loved the font Verdana then, I thought it was the most beautiful font there is, now I’m in love with Arial size 10, and as silly as this sounds, but that is change too… I wore more colours, and been wearing less colour than I used to and lots of black lately (not just to look slimmer :P) … ok, I’m being a bit morbid ? Hehe I don’t want to try and attempt to understand myself, I will just go with the flow … it’s much easier this way… it’s probably just a phase… but then again, life is a series of phases :)
Now that’s one long come-back post!
Eid Mubarak, Merry Xmas, and a very Happy New Year to you all :)
December 29, 2008 at 2:05 a.m.
LOL.....seems to people have forgotten about us! we r the wannabes from the past! :P
Well, nicely done sista
OMFG!!! Romana walahi I dont know why my blog crossed my mind today and I realized it had been along while since I last blogged! As you said people's convictions change over time and we dont have the same stances anymore I strongly agree with you!!!
PS: I do agree on proof-reading and editing coz I have found infinite errors on my side! Welcome back Romana and Im glad I posted the first comment!
Await lost libyan's resurrection! :P
December 29, 2008 at 2:59 a.m.
i agree `e u n many points here me 2 alwys wondered why i blogging !! or why & why ??
one thing iam sure about it ...
whn write on my blog my mood change even i dnt know 2 worst or best !!
marryxmas wish happy new yr 2 all libyan ppl ...
salam ...
December 29, 2008 at 12:54 p.m.
welcome back Romana
hope to read more of your posts
best wishes to you and your family :o)
December 29, 2008 at 5:39 p.m.
Salam Romana,
Oh happy day to see two of my favorites back on again----you and Lost-Libyan.
I won't sugar-coated this for you sweetie----I MISSED THE HELL OUT OF YOU. ;-)
On the other hand, I realize sometimes we have to do whatever we have to do to transform or perhaps better yet just walk the journey of life whatever direction it leads us and then reflect back on it to see if it's in alignment with who we are after the walk or not. No right or wrong just merely a reflection to then decide how to proceed.
I'm just delighted to see you and hope we are blessed with more of seeing you.
December 30, 2008 at 8:51 a.m.
thank you all so much, missed you lots wallahi :)
Losti - thanks ya 5atsha... and im waiting for ur ressurection! :P
abdullah - thanks for dropping by, true, writing can have a liberating effect :)
Anglo - Thank you :) teslam
IBEEEE - MISSED YOU TOOO! its been quite some time eh?
and true, i feel like a completely different person from when i started this blog last year, so much has happened, and you never expect that a year can change you so much... :)
i am so so so so sorry for your loss, i cant imagine what it's like for you at the mean time :(((
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December 13, 2009 at 10:23 p.m.
yeah... strange thoughts )
January 10, 2010 at 10:32 p.m.
Anonymous Strange Thoughts... i guess mine are eh?