Sexual Harrasement - What Would You Do?
My title is loud and clear I guess... For the past 6 months, a guy has been passing whatever free time he has by sexually harassing me. I did what any logical person would do, I blocked him; but he was far too persistent to let the fact that his email was blocked stop him; so he would create a new account, getting more and more creative with his addresses. It would be romanaass@yahoo.com*; Butthummromana@yahoo.com* etc.... And every time I block him, he simply re-surfaces with a new account. So i took a more extreme measure, and simply closed down my account that he was sending those emails to. And you would think that would stop him? naaaaah. Very hard working this dude, he's not that dedicated to his job btw. So he got my new address and took it to another level. Upgraded his style to sending me videos... of him...masturbating! Good thing with stalkers is that they eventually slip up without knowing so. He also used personal info about me, to spice it up. He knows my name, where I work, my cell phone number, where I travelled... and he would send an email with an info, in the subject line to guarantee that I would read it. Oh, i forgot to add this piece of info, I now know who he is. I know his wife. I know members of his family. I know some of his friends who would love such a piece of hot gossip about him.
I still didn't take any action... I keep thinking of his wife and family. Never in my life did I want to be known as a home wrecker, even though it's not my fault that the poor girl is married to sick unfaithful bastard; but being in the society that we are in, news travel fast. Can be to your benefit or turn to your worst enemy.
Imagine your father hearing that you sexually harass people in your free time? The shame? I don't think that he has thought it through. And he probably doesn't know how his slip has contributed to revealing his identity. I have replied to one of his emails. Two words. His name and Family name. After a couple of emails, he started sending me videos of girls, trying to throw me off poor thing. If he only knew. You know, I am prepared to forgive him if he voluntarily revealed his identity and asked me not to let it out. I probably wont take any action against him if he was honest with me. Enough damage has been done as it is. Do you think I'm being too lenient?
So tell me, what would YOU do? I need to read your thoughts to get different perspectives. Something will be done, but what will it be?
I still didn't take any action... I keep thinking of his wife and family. Never in my life did I want to be known as a home wrecker, even though it's not my fault that the poor girl is married to sick unfaithful bastard; but being in the society that we are in, news travel fast. Can be to your benefit or turn to your worst enemy.
Imagine your father hearing that you sexually harass people in your free time? The shame? I don't think that he has thought it through. And he probably doesn't know how his slip has contributed to revealing his identity. I have replied to one of his emails. Two words. His name and Family name. After a couple of emails, he started sending me videos of girls, trying to throw me off poor thing. If he only knew. You know, I am prepared to forgive him if he voluntarily revealed his identity and asked me not to let it out. I probably wont take any action against him if he was honest with me. Enough damage has been done as it is. Do you think I'm being too lenient?
So tell me, what would YOU do? I need to read your thoughts to get different perspectives. Something will be done, but what will it be?
October 22, 2009 at 11:20 p.m.
Romana
I am shocked and speechless to read this and it is shameful that people that like even exist or have the right to exist
In the end of the day we are have sisters, mothers and relatives and no one would accept this especially in our society and no one should be subjected to such an act
I think you have a big heart and you are extremely lenient with such a pervert. I would post him on youtube and circulate his act among his friends and family as such a person should be "named & shamed". I would advise you to contact his family (yes his father), although, it should be done through an middle person. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE dont overlook this as everyone should be accountable for their actions and his should face his action.
Regarding his wife, I feel sorry for her but she has the right to know what he really is and you will be doing her a favour and he should decide based on the facts
Romana, if you need any help dealing with this low life please let me know
Fe Aman Allah
October 23, 2009 at 12:23 p.m.
Akak,
Thank you for the heartfelt comment. And I don't think that such a creature ever considers other peoples' sisters, mothers and relatives!
I will not overlook this, that's a promise. That means he will get away with it, and such an act as you said, can't be overlooked. To every action there's an equal or opposite reaction. even laws of physics state that, so I wont let it slide like that. But as I wrote, my only concern is his wife and family... As right and true every single word you have written... the idea of splitting a family is very hard...
Thank you so so so much for your comment... I need to know that I am not alone in thinking that this creature needs a severe punishment.
October 26, 2009 at 10:09 p.m.
dear romana.im too shocked to hear this ,but i still think that his wife should know what her husband is doing in his free time no wife should be in the dark,any way and those sick people in our society they know that we women tend to look the other way and dont react to stalking and sexual harrasment because we still view this as a taboo,so this sick men keep on doing this because they know nothing will happen to them but if you take action then they will learn that this behavior could affect them and their family and they will think twice even if they have no brain ,i think its time for women to stand up for themselves ...
November 21, 2009 at 7:04 p.m.
Salam Romana,
WOW! I'm sort of shocked, but then again not because there are so many sick people out there, unfortunately.
I agree with Ahmed.
Remember one thing dear one, you are not the home wrecker. He's the one that's making drastically unwise choices. I believe his wife has a right to know what her husband's actions have been, and then it's up to her how and what she wants to do with that information. Remember knowledge helps us to make wiser choices. We are not responsible for her actions (i.e., whether she stays with this loser or hopefully walks away with her head held high), but we are responsible for reporting such wrong doings.....for both our selves as well as others.
It's an assumption on my part, but from what you've described in this persons actions, I would not be surprised that he's done this before. Very shameful.
November 22, 2009 at 12:19 a.m.
Hello Romana: I agree with the others.. There is no thing wrong with having a big heart ,but in this case ,giving chances for such a sicko can be as dangerous as giving in...
He'd continue his acts or take it another step.. Clearly from your blog ,he is already taking it up a notch every time..
You made clear that you are disgusted and you warned him..
Yet ,he's still doing that.
You said you are giving chances because you imagine what shame he'd face if the people he knows were informed.. As selfishless that sounds ,with such a man i dont think it's wise..
Lastly ,i have to praise your bravery.. Sexual harassement is a serious issue that i think our socitey suffers greatly but instinctively we cover it up ,because of shame ,fear ,misconception ..etc..
We should face these problems by speaking up ..as u did..
Be well
November 22, 2009 at 10:59 p.m.
Dear all,
Thank you so much for all your support and input. It really helps to know that I am not alone... It is a really hard decision to make, despite all the damage that has been done, once I come out, it will be doubled, if not tripled... whether I am right or wrong, it is not an easy choice to make... so I thank you, because it has eliminated any doubts i had about my decision, especially that you're all unanimous in your advice.
So thank you Anonymous # 1, thank you Ibee, and thank you BC for all your words...
And thank you Anonymous # 2 for stopping by, please, make a habbit out of it :)
November 30, 2009 at 1:31 a.m.
Hello. And Bye.
November 30, 2009 at 2:17 a.m.
Love the new look :D
November 30, 2009 at 7:00 p.m.
Anonymous... well hello and bye too i guess? lol
Akak, thank you!!! :) finally someone said something! hehehe
December 1, 2009 at 12:30 a.m.
hey i love ur blog !! and u should teach this sick bastard a lesson so he will think 1000 times be4 doin such a sick behavior next time !! gosh i miss blogging and i wished i never deleted my blog my i had to !! anyway again such a perv does not deserve to have more chances !! u can even put him in jail !!
December 1, 2009 at 4:42 p.m.
Loulou, i know ya loulou, i know... ahhh hadi tebeelha tga3meeza...
and u used to blogggg!!!! i didnt know that!
why did you delete it???
December 1, 2009 at 4:59 p.m.
yay i used to since 2006 !! laken its a long story i will tell u when i meet u !! but it looks like i am gonna start blogging again ur blog motivated me !! we'll talk about it tebelha tga3meza !! and i love love love ur blog !!
December 6, 2009 at 10:01 p.m.
yea yea ya loulou, blog again, or at least give me permission to read what you used to write!!! me is very excitedd!
and ohh thank u so so much! me glad u loved it :) makes me so proud!
January 3, 2010 at 10:37 a.m.
Sigh.. the world is full of psychopaths... and bloggers seem to become easy victims..
January 10, 2010 at 10:24 p.m.
Thanks for dropping by KT, it is full of them...never thought i'd be one of those victims though!
February 1, 2010 at 2:44 p.m.
I know i'm late in my reply. It is disgusting that such a thing is taking place. Romana, his wife has the right to know. Dont postpone it. Let her know what is been taking place. The sooner the better!
I cant believe what the world has come to! How awful!
March 24, 2010 at 5:21 a.m.
Salam Romana,
Has this individual stopped harassing you?
April 29, 2010 at 3:10 p.m.
that is so scary !!
hun i'll talk as a wife o inshallah rabi yesterna kolna ya rab but if a husband is doing such a thing then for sure his wife has to know and mn gal u r the only one he is following ?? if u stopped him from doing it to u he might be doing it to some one else !!
so sure thing again SHE has to know and if it'll break her then let it be .. just a matter of time then she'll be fine and thankful for waking her up
inshallah rabi yehdena kolna o yesterna ya rab ..
good luck
oh yeah nice blog and YES i'm back lol
May 1, 2010 at 7:18 p.m.
Romana, every time I check your blog and I see this post, I become sad. Please update so we do not have to re-read this post.
Come back right now, young lady! (please??)