2008 and my 2009
2008 was one hell of a year. We’ll see what 2009 has in store for us. And here’s my list, between myself and I:
1- Be less nice to ppl I don’t need to be nice to in the first place
2- Lose my 5 KGs
3- Stop spreading myself thin for ppl who are not worth it
4- Listen to my gut feeling
5- Concentrate on what matters
6- Less talking, more listening
7- Try not to take everything so personally and lighten up
8- Try not to be so trusting, my back is decorated with stab wounds
9- Try to heal from those wounds and move on and let go, rather than just storing them in that
box in the back of my mind
10- Try to stop pleasing everyone but myself
11- Stop exaggerating my problems with myself
And the list goes on (u don’t want to know how much more of a psycho I am)… but I don’t know what else to add… see, anyone who sees me think I’m this confident, successful, see the half full glass kinda girl, and I am…. I am happy, I am confident, and Al Hamdulilah I’m content , but I’m screwed up as well… silly things tips off my balance… not anything, but stupid little things hurt me… and that tips off my balance… and I wish I could be hurt less, or just immune myself to the silliness. It would definitely help me in the long run, less frown lines!!!
I don’t like being hurt (like who does eh!) and I do everything in my power not to get hurt. I don’t do well with hurt, I’m just one of those people that collapses internally when hurt, of course no one is any wiser, because I don’t usually share, I just collapse with myself and I have me to pick me up… and that’s why I’m extra nice, that is why I spread myself thin, especially for my friends and family, because I don’t want anyone to do anything that would hurt me… weird self defense mechanism?! Things happens, and yes, I do know that hurt is a part of life, but I try to avoid it as much as possible… but see, I guess being over-protective only makes u less immune to hurt and no matter how well prepared you are, something always will sneak up on you when you least expect it… hey, I’m still raw… my wound is still fresh… so excuse the extra melancholy!
Okaaaayyy, enough drama for one day! But hey, it’s my blog, I’m allowed! :P I’m being cheeky, lol, did it work? Hehe
I’m listening to Travis’s “Sailing Away” , and will leave you at that :)
Created: December 7, 2008
February 13, 2009 at 5:54 p.m.
Good list :) I think I've already done half that list; even though I'm usually nice with people - when I can - its only my nature I couldn't care less about other peoples opinions in general. Its usually easier that way, I mean more than half the world is messed up so why bother listening to them if you want to advance and improve yourself? if they had any good advice or opinions their lives wouldn't be so messed up in the first place, right ?
February 14, 2009 at 11:59 a.m.
Right PH :)
I dont care as much i did when i was younger... رضا الناس غاية لا تدرك as you said, guess the earlier you convince yourself with it, the easier your life will be eh?
but i still have the ppl pleaser gene! that one i have to work on :)
thanks for dropping by :)
hey, Q, I saw the same blog display pic as urs on Facebook, can that possibly be you??? you dont have to answer, i just saw the same arabian knight pic and thought, 7ee za3ma PH? im sorry if you think i'm being nosy, just thought it was something worth mentioning.
February 14, 2009 at 4:16 p.m.
loooool no it isn't me I only use my real identity on facebook so it has nothing to do with blogging :). And no I didn't think you were nosy :P .
salaam
February 14, 2009 at 11:06 p.m.
LOL well then someone is trying to be you! lol
okay then, that's settled, at least now i dont have to keep wondering whether it was u or not! hehe
have a good one :)
February 22, 2009 at 5:36 p.m.
Salam Romana,
As the song goes "it's your party and you can cry if you want too". :-)
I love the word "cheeky". :0)
Great list---acknowledging creates awareness which then creates accountability, so that's what you are doing. From there you can grow and do anything you like as long as you remain true to yourself.
Hugs