Dry Spell :S !

My apologies everyone :(


I'm hitting some sort of a dry spell, dont know why. Haven't been in the mood to post to tell you the truth. i have been visiting all your blogs, regulary, sorry for not commenting!

all is well, :)

A-akak, thanks for always checking up on me, ibee you too

Ibee, i missed you too :)

Lebeeya, yalla post babes! i hope all is well in Oman,all in the right place

Maysoon, where are you?

Anglo-libyan, my apologies for not commenting much on your blog lately,

Happymoi, hope you're enjoying your stay in dubai, live it large! lol

Lost-Libyan, ha? hows the experience coming along? lol

Mani, if you're reading this, WHERE ARE YOU? why is requested URL not found? :(

PH, your 2007's Recommended Movie Viewing's - Updated is just great! thanks for that! really helped me out!

Picco and Maiuna, sorry gals for not dropping a hello or a hi


anyway, i will leave you with the following amazing works of the irani artist Iman Maleki, *he is so accurate and talented Mashalla, that for a moment i thought the following were photos, please enjoy :)










Isnt *he so talented? Mashalla :)
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33 Response to "Dry Spell :S !"

  1. Anonymous Says:
    August 25, 2007 at 5:29 p.m.

    Hi there Romana..
    Iman is a pretty amazing artist.. but just a little correction. Iman is a he not a she :)

  2. PH says:
    August 25, 2007 at 5:36 p.m.

    Well Welcome back I was busy myself, the whole Libyan blogosphere seems to be slowing down is it the heat in Libya ?

    I'm glad you liked my movie's list. I'll be posting another one for 2006 in another weeks times -inshaa allah- so you better read it :P.

    salaam and take care.

  3. DaMoon says:
    August 26, 2007 at 7:17 a.m.

    i was wondering where u were!! inshallah khair, i think we've all hit by da dry spell....lol i mean com'on ane elli fe el honeymoon and making more effort to comment and post, yallah gurl go back to ur normal self 'i.e. 2 posts a day' ;)
    take care and talk to u soon inshallah
    luv

  4. Romana says:
    August 26, 2007 at 8:13 a.m.

    Dee, lool, thanks for the correction, much appreciated! lool
    thanks for visiting gurl!

    ***********************

    Ph, thanks bro, will waiting for your list :)

    ***********************

    Damooonoooooo, hiiii guurlllll, missed u halba.... how u doing, when are u coming back? soon right?

  5. Anglo-Libyan says:
    August 26, 2007 at 1:56 p.m.

    nice to have you back :o)

    fantastic paintings, it was difficult to decide which is best as they are all well detailed but I think the one with mother and daughter is my favourite.

  6. ibeebarbie says:
    August 26, 2007 at 4:33 p.m.

    Salam Romana,
    Whew! What a relief, alhamdullilah! Hoping all the others that have either been in a dry spell or on strike are doing well also, inshallah. Glad to hear you are well, alhamdullilah. Stunning pieces of art, mashallah.

  7. Brave Heart says:
    August 27, 2007 at 11:16 a.m.

    sllam Romana
    wlahi great painting, and he tries to say something, my fav the last one, i think the guy looking for the freedom thats what the sun tells

  8. piccolina says:
    August 27, 2007 at 2:41 p.m.

    it's ok sweetie .. i feel same though !!

    what killed me in those paintings was the DETAILS ..damn it !!!

    mashallah she is just mashallah WOW !!

    i'll go kill my self now lol

  9. a_akak says:
    August 27, 2007 at 5:37 p.m.

    :D no need to thank me for what is my duty :) but dont worry we all go through rough patches and sometimes you dont have the motivation to write anything anyway as long as u r ok and everything is fine then we are ok

    the pic is as beautiful as the owner of this blog ;)

    Fe Aman Allah

  10. dusk till dawn says:
    August 27, 2007 at 9:19 p.m.

    its beautiful art, thanx for sharing it, we all go through the ups and down ,keep the hard work up. hope the bright smile will shine soon

  11. Romana says:
    August 28, 2007 at 3:04 p.m.

    Thank you all, :)


    Hey Anglo-Libyan, i loved that one too, its speaks out to u


    ibee, hey dearest.. thanks... :)

    braveheart, thank you for visiting... yea, they are all beautiful

    picooo, loooool 3aleki ya bnaya o 7'alas, la la dont kill urself, i will kill myself first...lol

    a_akak, thanks bro, very sweet of u :) im okie o il 7amdulila...been on the down side lately, bs all is well il 7amdillah, thanks again :)


    dusk till dawn, thank you for your words

  12. Anonymous Says:
    August 29, 2007 at 12:20 a.m.

    hey romana welcome back ya busy busy gurl:P

    i loved the paintings...wow mashallah

    thanx ya 7anna

  13. mani says:
    August 29, 2007 at 12:28 p.m.

    salam dearest sis Romana :) .. a lil bit of a downer.. pretty much like u :) im also v busy.. blog meaningless now cause theres no point in doing something when ur heart aint in it... btw.. I loved this art by iman he's awesome and I particularly would like to understand the reason behind the contrast of detail and low (and almost gloomy) tone of paints..I loved the second last picture with goldfish in the bowl :).. speaks volumes for me... anyways.. u keep blogging missy your words are magical so dont be lazy and just put pics all the time. ok? good. salam :)

  14. Lebeeya says:
    August 30, 2007 at 8:16 a.m.

    ROMANAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

    I miss you girl.. sheni hada?

    Awesome artwork... thumps up.

  15. Romana says:
    August 30, 2007 at 1:17 p.m.

    ema al jameeelaaa, how r u??

    they are beautiful, arenot they!

    MANIIIIIIIIII, hiii brooo... thanks so much for ur lovely words, im not just being courteous, i honestly mean it :) very sweet of u!
    so ur not in it anymore??? thats a shame, i miss reading ur ponderings... i really do! :(

    i will try my best to write something, lol, u made me laugh with "so dont be lazy and just put pics all the time. ok?"

    LEBEEYAAAAAAA, it is awesome, i wish i lied and said i drew them! loooool lala im not that bad, lol

  16. mani says:
    August 31, 2007 at 11:56 a.m.

    you laughed eh? :P so u must have thought while putting those pictures "damn I'm too lazy to write.. gimme pictures.." :P:P

  17. Romana says:
    September 2, 2007 at 4:56 p.m.

    lool

    yep, u got me! lol

    i didnot want to not blog, so i was like, ya bent, yalla, use ur emergency blog ideas!

    how r u Mani? and why did isnt ur heart into blogging anymore??

  18. mani says:
    September 3, 2007 at 1:03 p.m.

    hehehe touche` sis :P

    Thanks for asking Im ok alhamdulillah. My heart is not in blogging anymore cause its simply elsewhere.. and one cant have two hearts at the same time... what u think?

  19. Romana says:
    September 3, 2007 at 2:07 p.m.

    :) Well Mani bro, if you heart is else where, and is happy where it is, then its only fair :) why else are we venturing on this thing called world? :)

    bs, to tell u the truth, ur fans will be rioting soon! lol :P

  20. mani says:
    September 3, 2007 at 8:51 p.m.

    In all honesty whenever I go somewhere I try to take my heart with me or stay with it, if it doesn't want to go.. so basically whenever I comment on anyones blog my heart is there most of the time and yours most definitely too. so that should give ya some incentive at least to write :P cause u know you could always get a great discussion if you want one, guaranteed!!

    fans??? don't lie!! :P

  21. Romana says:
    September 4, 2007 at 3:31 p.m.

    "so that should give ya some incentive at least to write :P" hahha ya the9a inta! lol

    "great discussion " u're so sure arenot u! lol

    but, 3andik a point here... u're really good with words, resulting in , and let me quote, "great discussion " :)


    "fans??? don't lie!! :P "
    looool why are you underestimating yourself... im a fan, and im not lying!

  22. mani says:
    September 5, 2007 at 7:53 p.m.

    ur my fan?.. and what am i doing here begging you to write? :P

    what should we discuss? the misery of education in Libya and what could we do about it? the Libyan child deprived of the very environment that could make sense to his brain? the culture of apathy and despair, that has made corruption a legal way of life for everyone? The historical culture of the strong and dominant, which has eroded all base for constructive argument and resolutions in the new generation? The worsening male-female relationships in our country??...

    choose your pick.. its some of what i think about..

  23. Romana says:
    September 10, 2007 at 11:51 a.m.

    hey mani;

    sorry it took me so long to reply, swamped at work!

    one question, im sure all ur points are valid, and i agree with u even before discussing them, as i share the same views, but did u get more validation when u started working?
    u seem frustrated!!!

  24. mani says:
    September 10, 2007 at 3:20 p.m.

    salam Romana.. what u mean by validation?? that these problems exist?? if that is what you meant, then I would say it was always validated for me.. it affected and still does my family & I personally .Ane Leebe 3ad.. :)

    Is it really frustration that is obvious? my my... I may need to think a bit harder about how to present my views :P..

    In all honesty its not frustration, rather excitement about what the future holds, now that there is a feasible oppertunity in shaping it..

    And that doesn't go just for me.. it goes for every Libyan citizen...

    What seemed to you like frustration was my poor attempt at trying to provoke a discussion on these issues which to me, are some of the main obstacles for us Libyans in shaping this future.

    Basically, How can we channel our excitement to productive use to address and overcome these obstacles??

    so you see, the first step is to get agreement on the claims from a defenition point of view and value judgements point of view..

    so for example, in the case of the culture of despair and apathy leading to corruption, do we agree that despair and apathy are real definitions of our culture today? do we agree that corruption is 'bad'? (cause a lot of Libyans think it is completely justified, as long as it serves them)and if we do, in what sense is it bad? is it related to despair and apathy?.. isnt corruption, apathy and despair all part of the same inevitable cycle? what are the causes of such a violent cycle?

    I was hoping to see if we can then pull out some examples in different contexts about how this cycle is represented in reality.. in business.. in government.. in the lives of the poor and the rich in Libya.. in education.. in health. etc etc..

    After finding out the cause and effects of some of these problems, we should have a clearer idea of the desired effect we wish to see.. and from that.. the causes that would lead to it in each example.

    so for example, the despair of the student to study is caused by him seeing no future, or any relevance of his study makes him apathetic towards his schooling and respect of the public institutions that offer this service to him. Then corruption is reprsented by this disrespect in forms like, cheating, bribing schools, buying off a certificate etc...

    well.. what is the different effect that we wish to see?.. that this student has a career plan? that he is fully equipped, mentally, physically, intellectually and vocationally from the education system to go and realize his dream? that opportunity exists in the Job market to realize this dream?.. that this student invests in this future and respects the institutions and people who work in them because they add to the value of his future investment....

    if these are the effects that we dream of??.. what is the gap between our current situation, and the ideal situation (or causes) that would lead to those effects.. we dont need to be too dreamy.. just specific to every example..

    This way of discussing things will help us all come to points of agreement on problems & challenges, real value judgements and options for moving foreward.

    Sadly, due to the very nature of despair and apathy, most of us Libyans do not go beyond the first stage.. i.e.. squabbling and moaning about all the problems (effects) and our stories with these problems. Most of us are unable to move beyond that stage for 2 main reasons:

    1) either we do not know. Not knowing what we want is not knowing our identity and who we are. Not knowing what to do about it is a lack of knowledge in everything. This state of ignorance also makes the second reason even more important:

    2) Fear and Distrust. Ignorance leads to fear because we fear what we dont know. fear is insecurity and when we are insecure we cannot trust others, or even ourselves to think. distrust is also an accumulation of experience of broken promises and we Libyans have sure had our fare share of those, but how do we re-create trust?

    When we are ignorant we are afraid and dependant.. then we become mistrusting and insecure. our complacency to do something about it becomes complicity in the problem (after all.. life dosent stop.. we still have to live.. bills to pay, children to feed).

    We allow ourselves to be corrupt and just try to achieve our own self interest within the corrupt system.. making it even more corrupt..

    Therefore, we help to make it even stronger, when we build personal interests in the corruption continuing , because it benefits us (like government officials who profit from kickbacks etc).

    When we benefit from this, we end up opposing change (or even attempts at change) violently, not only because to us it means more 'broken promises', and therefore distrust, but also because it directly threatens our interests which are Dependant on corrupt practices.

    To sum up this piece of written work,. I just wish to say that before we move forward in any discussion we need to change the 2 causes behind our complacency which I mentioned. We do it like this I think:

    1) Ignorance needs to be addressed by a process of building understanding, awareness, dialogue and sharing of knowledge.

    2) If that happens then trust can be achieved by creating new options and choices for people and channeling their pursual of personal intrests in these areas, and showcasing successful and productive models from taking these choices.

    Unfortunately, this is also difficult because of another problem I mentioned in the last comment, a problem of mindset and mentality, namely the absence of the real principles of Shura or منهج الحوار or 'democratic principles' if you like, in our traditional libyan families and lifestyle. These principle like:

    - equal access to information and knowledge.
    - equal right to expression and deliberation.
    - respect of different points of views and perspectives, regardless of age, gender, status or other superficial symbols of prejudice.

    How we tackle that one is another issue to discuss..

    do I still seem frustrated?.. or do you wish to take up any of the questions here? or maybe throw in your own? :)

  25. mani says:
    September 10, 2007 at 3:41 p.m.

    p.s i appreciate that you're swamped at work and me too, so please accept my apologies for the long tirade.. don't rush yourself! :)

  26. Romana says:
    September 10, 2007 at 4:31 p.m.

    hey mani, thats one long debate! :)
    but i love long!

    bs u'll have to wait for a reply... i consumed my energy in my new post! lol

    so inshalla bokra u'll find an elaborated comment on urs :)

  27. Romana says:
    September 12, 2007 at 1:49 p.m.

    Dearest Mani;

    Ramadan Kareem

    now, where do i start?

    i took your comment home with me, THREE PAGES LONG DEAR! lol it was my bed-time reading material... and i had to read it more than once, cos every time i read something, i think, hmmm did he research this? Your elaboration and preciseness in using words to justify your point was impeccable!

    U honestly cracked me up be "Ane Leebe 3ad" lol,

    How long have you lived abroad?

    Well I probably saw it as frustration because I myself am frustrated. I don’t share the excitement of what the future holds, as I honestly believe that it's not going to go forward for the next generation or so. I know that this is a bleak look towards the future of our nation, but with the type of human beings co-existing in our country, it just simply won't go forward.
    Why I wrote 'co-existing' is because they simply don’t know what the definition of living is.

    I am a bit to harsh, I know, and you know what, despite all those words I truly believe that there are something like a 10% of good people who want the better of their country, but they simply cant do a thing to help out. Most are so corrupt and their morale is so decayed that there's no chance for some of them to go forward.

    "The despair the students face" as you say "to study is caused by him seeing no future or any relevance of his study makes him apathetic towards his schooling and respect of the public institution that offer this service to him" is simply not acceptable. Im sorry Mani, but if this category just had this belief, why bother even trying? So throw away education just because you think 15 years from now you won't find a job? And disrespect all forms of humans? Isn’t respect taught at homes? Why are your parents responsible for you? Yes they are desperate, but why always let your desperation plunge you into an abyss? Why not make it an incentive to better your life? Just why? Corruption can be prevented if parents knew how to raise their kids. If mothers taught their sons to respect women, if fathers treated their daughters as an equal to their sons. Not by letting your son get away with everything and anything just because he is the only boy in the family, or he's the youngest, or so many silly things they justify with them that little or big brat's action! Or teach your daughter that she has to obey what ever that comes in the form of a male. I am so sorry Mani, but I refuse to believe that despair is what makes them commit all these horrible acts.

    You solutions are 3ala 3eeni o raasi, bs do you really believe that they would listen? And you, yourself, mention in the paragraph before last that : " this is also difficult because of another problem I mentioned in the last comment, a problem of mindset and mentality, namely the absence of the real principles of Shura or منهج الحوار or 'democratic principles' if you like, in our traditional Libyan families and lifestyle"

    I personally thing that this isn't just "another problem", it is THE problem that’s setting us back a century at a time Mani.

    I loved every bit of your masterpiece, I truly did, but living here all my life, and seeing everything with my own eyes, deletes the option for a mature Libyan guy or girl for that matter that can start making a change. I love my country, I love it so much, there is so much potential for it to be greater than great, but u know what I always say? Libyans are raping their own country every second of the day. It is bigger than us, it really is. Im not giving up, but im not fighting a lost battle in this lost war.

  28. mani says:
    September 13, 2007 at 9:52 a.m.

    wow :)

    I am speechless.. you blew my mind with questions and answers.. I had a feeling that an investment in your mind is well worth the pay off! ;)

    now dear sister, let me give this the proper attention it deserves, and I will get back to you with a reply as soon as I am rady 3leeha :) :) :).. I am so excited.. you gave me an awesome headrush, in RAMADAN !! :)

    I have lived abroad for 15 years :P

    salam (and brb)

  29. Romana says:
    September 13, 2007 at 12:46 p.m.

    Mani, looool 3alek o 7'alas..

    i'll be waiting

  30. mani says:
    September 19, 2007 at 10:07 a.m.

    Salam Dear sis :)

    Before I go on, let me remind you that deleting all options for any decent Libyan guy/girl to bring change in Libya, is unfair to say the least.

    Besides, If you say its only gonna go foreword in the next generation or so, then who will start pushing it now? At least so the kiddies may have a chance in a generation or so?

    Do the kiddies even matter?

    All our despair & frustration does is make those who really try, take on more of the burden we could have taken ourselves... maybe they win and benefit their country... but if it does, it makes us cop-outs and losers...

    It's either that or it makes us intelligent opportunist; free-riding on any achievements scored by those who still have hope and bear the costs of achieving them...But then they are just suckers!

    In Libya, we are living a “Prisoners Dilemma” situation.

    In the absence of an effective law equal above all, and a system of living that helps people work toward common interests, People are one of two mostly:

    1) Free-riders and opportunists (most of the country),
    2) Suckers

    Real heroes are mostly known only when they have long perished...and cop-outs don’t matter... they are already dead (no hope and no action).

    In Libya, It’s always those who don’t want to be opportunists & free riders that pay the highest price... That’s why they are suckers. The opportunists always win… the suckers lose out.

    They end up being mistreated if they don’t know someone at the police station, bankrupt if they don’t agree to commissions on procurement contracts, disrespected by other drivers on the road if they respected traffic laws (I was even mocked by a police officer for wearing the seatbelt), miss out on jobs, salaries, housing, even basic necessities & rights if they followed bureaucracy and regulations rather than resort to easy fraud, nepotism, favouritism & bribery instead, be dominated if they didn’t dominate the road first (like the story of everyday Libyan traffic and every Libyan queuing system.. if such a thing existed.. dominating first always means being the first to the front.. even if it means coming in from behind the counter!)), removed from employment if they challenge the status quo because they are professional and value their integrity, even mocked & ridiculed by their closest friends, colleagues & relatives… so much so they become ashamed of their own naivety in seeing the best in people or striving for common interests… Finally they are laughed off as suckers and poor cop-outs…

    These are the costs we Libyans pay when we try and be decent, respect the law and each other.

    This is what we have to expect. Isn’t it? And if that is what so many of us expect what do you wish them to do? Be suckers?

    Now, its all the more worse when one is poor. Please know that when I say ‘Poor’ I mean افتقار in its wholesome sense, not only ‘cash’ poor. When one is born into poverty…Poorly educated... Poorly nourished... Poorly equipped and nurtured... in a country with poor facilities, limited access to anything good.. and all the other chronic poverties our country suffers from. We are a poor people, even if many of us are materially wealthy. How can you earn or truly deserve anything when you are poor? The state of our roads, public utilities and services betray the flashy cars we drive… you can see what truly matters to Libyan people, when you see where they put their money!

    Our poverty forces us into positions of accepting an opportunistic (انتهازي) way of living whether we like it or not. Our material necessities, benefits and social standing depend on it. Especially when social standing is a superficial thing, defined by how many cars you own, or how many lorries of sharshoor u order for your spanking new villa! Social worth and self esteem in Libya is measured in dollars, or in the amount of meat u dish to the guests in a wedding. At the end of the day, you can have no social standing if you are a thinker. People get into trouble when they think here. It’s better to be rich. You could buy more influence that way!

    If we choose to live clean we have to be able to afford it. When we are poor we are at the bottom of the food chain and because it’s hard to afford it most of the time, we end up just trying to bear living dirty.

    1) We could afford it in 2 ways:

    - keep our savings, work and study our asses off long and hard and try and take any opportunity that passes by (if there is one) and do it well (any good person’s values…I don’t know if this is actually still a choice for a lot of Libyans anymore)

    Or

    - Realise that the benefits are not even worth the struggle: public Wages are nothing, career development we can forget, and people don’t deserve our trust nor respect because the rich kid in our classroom didn’t study jack shit, yet he passes with flying colours and gets a job a car and a house just cause his dad is somebody high up, while we who broke our backs studying have only a career as a taxi driver waiting for us… well.. is that sensible?.. no.. the sensible choice is to follow suit and do it the rational way and turn to wasta, cheating, deception, collusion, theft, fraud, and kickbacks to get by & build a future etc (فساد مادي). If we do it this way… we get to be dependant on it… (like an addiction we build up and cant stop because we hate the feeling of withdrawal effects)… or risk falling back into the shit (cause its not sustainable.. it was unearned in the first place or illegal)..Maybe even go into jail… this way, we are not really clean… we just put deodorant on.. We need to keep at it or it’ll wear off and eventually we’ll stink again.

    2) We could bear it in 2 ways:

    - Not compromise good virtue and be forced to shut up, put up and hope while we suffer in silence. We’re either saints or madmen. People frequently think they are different but they are usually one and the same.

    Or

    Convince ourselves that ignorance is bliss and make a joke out of the entire thing and be irresponsible (فساد معنوي وأخلاقي)… BUT THIS IS ALSO A RATIONAL RESPONSE. The well known Libyan proverb:"لو تبي تفهم تدوخ" supports this view. Why should one want to admit they are confused and lost, even if they are? If people were more honest with the questions they ask themselves they’d go insane! This is why we, the Libyan people, are such a nation of jokers, and laugh at situations in our lives that should make us cry, really. After all, people fully realise the contradictions in their life, between the values they ‘think are right’ and the real life they are forced to live in. But they can only accept it for so long and they try to do that by trivializing the world they live in and the people that live with them in it… it’s the only way they can numb themselves, deceive themselves into thinking they are stronger or try to forget their shitty existence. They also drink and take drugs for the same reasons. But even that is not enough. They will explode sooner or later. The youth certainly explode more violently and more frequently. Man was made to be free and independent to realise his potential, not to compromise his basic self interest or the good common interests between people. Yet here the Libyan individual is dependant and dominated from his early age. His and her life’s are always lived for others, rather than for their own. Study only because their parents wish them to study or just to get the hell out of the prison they call ‘home’. To study subjects they don’t understand, to behave in ways that contradict the laws of the environment, to respect teachers not worthy of respect, to become a doctor or engineer for the wrong reasons (money and status rather than passion, utility or enjoyment), to work their assess off only to marry a woman or a man they cant trust, (cause they never trusted themselves or others in the first place) or don’t even know how to respect and to top it off, spend months of hard earned cash on a wedding for that false sense of ‘self-worth’ among people. We, the young generation are SICK of this show to the bone! You thought that my comment was unacceptable when I said:

    "The despair the students face is caused by him seeing no future or any relevance of his study makes him apathetic towards his schooling and respect of the public institution that offer this service to him"

    Yet, whether you can accept it or not, the apathetic student example in my last comment has REAL & LEGITIMATE reasons for what he does. He is not just being an idiot. He is responding in a very rational sense.

    Then you say:

    “Im sorry Mani, but if this category just had this belief, why bother even trying?”

    Exactly my point! Why even bother trying? Why not throw away education and just buy a taxi or iveco.. you could definitely make more money and improve your sense of ‘self-worth’ this way, than spend 6 years in a crappy education system only to get a crappy wage and most probably still find that you NEED be corrupt in a government job, if not of your own wish, then certainly for your boss’s wish, or your daddy’s wish, or your manipulative wife’s wis etc. You’re wage depends on their happiness with you most of the time, right? Why not try and fraud oneself abroad instead? Work even as a bin man… who cares???... Isn’t that what so many of middle aged Libyan men of this generation say and believe...? To them there’s more honor in that, than the honor among thieves here in Libya!!

    You say - “So throw away education just because you think 15 years from now you won't find a job? And disrespect all forms of humans? Isn’t respect taught at homes??”

    Respect isn’t taught at home… The poor show of respect of Libyans for each other is evidence of this, despite them knowing full well what words like ‘Trust’, ‘Honesty’ and ‘Halal’ mean. Despite the good show they put on when fasting, wearing beards or praying in the mosque on Jumaa.

    Respect in Libya is respecting the old, and the strong, even if respecting them means disrespecting our own brain and common sense. Why people still respect them is beyond me. Maybe this new wave of disrespect is a good sign even!

    No, respect can’t be taught or instructed.

    It’s only lived.

    An environment that breeds respect is the only environment that ‘teaches’ respect. People and things respect you when you respect yourself…It’s nature’s law when things are in harmony, and social justice is real… So you can try and indoctrinate your child with all the words and rituals of ‘respect’ and make sure you give them a good beating if they disrespect you. But outside the home, where injustice and the laws of the jungle rule, and when you are no longer the strongest animal in the jungle… you can painfully teach your child the most elegant of manners at home and hell still flush them down the toilet as he goes out to hang with his friends. His nemesis no longer threatens him and he can go wild.

    Sometimes the thrill of rebelling and the sense of liberation in breaking hypocritical rules are the only breaths of fresh air.. The seconds of ‘life’ that we ‘poor’ people truly treasure.. Because it’s the only thing we do out of our own choice!

    You can see how these options relate to each other. Those who try to afford to stay clean the good way and not be tempted to corruption are usually those who shut up, put up and suffer quietly.. Or the ones who do all they can to get out of this country in search of an honest opportunity.

    Those who compromise their integrity and morals, have even more of an incentive to be irresponsible and trivialise their lives and the lives of their fellow countrymen. Mostly, their ‘moral decay’ is a direct consequence of their dependence on corruption in the first place. Many however, are lost between their own ignorance on the one hand and their own common sense on the other, which tells them that the people they respect are really idiots and hypocrites and they too are idiots for respecting them. So how do you want them to behave if their lives are dependant on being ignorant and corrupt to the core? Do you want them to be corrupt materially but still behave gentlemanly? Do You want them to smile at you and admit they are schizophrenic? Allow them to be honest! There is no hiding our truth.

    Why should people share the burden of contributing to the public good in their country if the costs are too high for them to take, or directly threaten their own interests? Well.. Why should they? Why should you? Why should anyone? Right?? Why should the individual have any sense of duty for a reality they hate? A reality unjust to us? Why should we love our country if it just seems to hate us? why should we do things right if they’re all gonna do things wrong? Why should we be good if all were gonna be worse of as a result? That’s their logic. Its your’s too right? Didn’t you say:

    “Im not giving up, but I'm not fighting a lost battle in this lost war.”

    So hey, the logic is the same then isn’t it? Are you wishing to deny to others what you accept for yourself? no hope? Right? What are you gonna do? Live with them ...like them? or live without them...and far far from them??.. isn’t this question on the tongue of almost every Libyan?

    Dearest sister,

    It’s not solutions I’m after. It’s resolutions. And resolutions don’t mean ‘they’ listen to us, it means that we listen to each other. The voice of the people is a rational voice and should be listened to. Once the mentality of ‘I know, you don’t, I’m strong your weak’ changes slowly, people will realise that they and the public have common interests. We will only be able to shift this mentality when the system of dominance and dependence shifts, and it will only be achieved when our country moves away from its dependence on ‘oil’. We Libyans have been always dependant on something as far as I can remember from the ottomans, to the Italians and British to the Oil welfare state. This economic dependence has forced the mentality to comply with it, and repeat itself in every tribe, family and government office across the ages. A move towards the empowerment of the private sector, and diversification of the economy, will mean a bigger degree of independence from the ‘mother state’, which our people rely on for everything. Because independence will now be granted to private business and supported, the government and the people themselves will find that they need to build the trust and legitimacy between each other again, and benefit mutually from each other, or its not gonna work. Big Macro changes like these will certainly be great enablers for a better environment as it means amendments in Law, tax, procedures, restrictions, access to information etc. An environment, where its common sense, to follow the rules and respect them, because in doing so, the benefits far outweigh the costs.

    But the Macro changes are only that, enablers. People still need the motivation, the options, the access, the ambition and most importantly, the MUTUAL TRUST. Only mutual trust will allow people to participate in ‘public good’ with a sense of duty. This has to happen before ‘they’ can listen to us preach about morals, respect etc, because if these guys are talking in a shop and then go out an live in a reality that contradicts all the values they preach, they are either superficial & shallow, or just wasting their time. Worse, gives them more excuse to continue living corrupt.

    What does It take to build that trust with people?. Most of the time, it’s a simple conversation like this. Most need guarantees however. They have no confidence in taking initiative based on just a conversation, no mater how logical or how profoundly they agree. They want to see results, models, MIRACLES!; in humans and institutions. They fail to realise that change comes from within people, or maybe they are just afraid, cause taking initiative means belief, knowledge, conviction & confidence, and people don’t want to admit that they do not have this. They’d rather follow and take someone as an example, often end up making a god of them, worshipping their wish at every corner. They fail to realise that it’s people that make change not the other way round. They fail to realise that real freedom is when they are free to say NO, as much as they are free to say YES! Some, are so lost and apathetic, they actually need to be REMINDED that they have a choice when choices become available. It sounds disturbingly like ‘shirk’ to me.

    It’s a tough journey, but for me, it’s the only one worthwhile travelling. After all, what’s the purpose of living, if one is not living for a purpose?

    And what greater purpose is there for living, than the purpose Allah swt created us for? to strive for freedom and build the goodness and peace between each other. How we behave in the world and with its people is the highest form of worship. And the hardest.

    Don’t give up.

    All my brotherly love.

    mani

  31. Romana says:
    September 19, 2007 at 10:48 a.m.

    Mani, dear bro, as always, u always deliver, bs u will have to give me some time,to read, analyze, and write my comments...

    wow! i got a new bed time story!!!

    cheers bro

  32. mani says:
    September 20, 2007 at 9:41 a.m.

    :) dear sis, never mind at all.. waiting for ur reply on edge (I still need to know about the lil kid in the picture)

  33. Romana says:
    September 20, 2007 at 9:49 a.m.

    mani, how about u add me?

    ro.ma.na@hotmail.com

    there i commented on ur comment, and god how much i enjoyed it, i felt i was in a debate, but tebbi il 7ag, i got scared, why? cos u simply can get into so much trouble for daring to speak, and we are becoming too daring!

    so if u are comfortable with adding me, do, if u dont, its okie, i totally understand, i will just try type in my comments the same usual way, :)